Laura 0:00
Welcome back to another episode of the See Through the 5d podcast series on the Akashic Musings podcast. I have been wanting to talk about people pleasing for such a long time, and this is the time. And it's really a conversation that starts about accommodation because spirit dropped this in the other day, and I was like, "Boom, that's it! Like it's time. This is like the core. This is the core of what we need to talk about around people pleasing because I could literally talk about people pleasing for, oh my goodness, a four to five day conference that I could teach on this. There's so many layers to it. It's one of the most difficult patterns that I have witnessed as a therapist of almost 25 years, and just a spiritual coach and being in higher consciousness. Like it is so hard for humans to shift this pattern. It is so deeply ingrained. So, I love what came through spirit, and I want to share it with you now. So, I don't even know how this came into my mind the other day, but it just just kind of popped in, and spirit said, "What if accommodation is actually correct? Like, we're supposed to be accommodating each other. Like, this is normal. We were initially wired as human beings in community to accommodate one another. Like, there wasn't all of this separation, comparison, competition, individuality. Like, it was very communal. We'd all kind of roam around and take care of each other. If somebody needed something and somebody had that resource or a skill to offer, they would offer it, and we were all just this one big happy family. I don't know how happy we were, but you know what I'm trying to say. Like cohesive, collaborative is the word here. And it wasn't like well we have defined roles and that's not my role and therefore you know it's for this person to take care of that like it was somebody would be walking by they need something you offer it to them done easy so accommodating others was this natural exchange that didn't come from owing somebody anything or feeling a sense of obligation or responsibility, or pleasing anyone-it literally just came from this very natural flow that existed within this base of community. But then individuality started becoming a thing, competition started becoming a thing, and this was obviously like striving for power, but also a competition for resources that ended up creating a separation. So this separation obviously existed then from communities, and people were afraid of being cast out, and that's some of the fears that we have about belonging and being accepted. And this is where people pleasing starts to come in because you start to you know appease certain communities or certain people or certain people in communities in order to be able to access the resources you needed for survival, so this became this source point for people pleasing that has rippled out again at so many layers from that point. Now, originally, when we were entering this world as human beings, we were also not in recognition of our separation from Source. We didn't realize as infants, "Oh, I'm separated from Source. Like we didn't have this conscious awareness. But over the course of our development, we become closer and closer to Source. Now, I do believe that we felt more of a closeness to source in these communities, but then we had all this competition, like I was just saying, that came forward. So it included separation from not only source but from one another. When we are in community and we expect our needs to be accommodated, because we're used to being in a collaborative space where you know what, if so and so can't meet my needs, somebody's going to meet them. Like I am going to be taken care of. When we know that and we don't have this fear of being cast out or cast aside or separated, isn't that the definition of abundance? I know that no matter what, my needs are going to be met, whether that's emotional, whether that's physical, physiological. Like my needs are going to be met. That's the definition of abundance. You're not placing it on someone in particular. You're not saying, okay, I'm attaching my abundance, my nourishment, my happiness, my safety to something or someone. I just know what's going to arrive because I live in a community where it's always arrived. I'm assuming my needs are going to be met; they've always been met, so I feel safe. I feel full, and then I offer from the same space. And I also know and assume that others are going to have their needs met. It's a natural byproduct of connected community. So, on the surface, what we're saying here is that a great antidote to overaccommodation is connected conscious community, collaborative conscious community as we were meant, as we were inherently created for, and created into. As we think about New Earth consciousness, 5d consciousness, and bringing that down here into this 3d template, I want you to consider something. We are meant to stand for that higher consciousness template, what we were inherently created as, and what we inherently are. So, if inherently we are abundant, inherently we do have access to these resources, and we are meant to be in this collaborative conscious space where we are offering to one another without competition, without this fixation on individuality. Then we are in faith, good faith, that we are going to receive everything we need, and so is everybody else. They are meant to receive abundantly all around. We are meant to receive abundantly all around. So when we look at people pleasing, this is an over accommodation. We are over accommodating and taking responsibility for all of the resources that one person receives, or too much of the resources that one person receives, when we are pleasing a person, that person is able to get their needs met and their resources fulfilled from all over the place. That's inherently how they were designed, and if we are operating from that template that we are all inherently meant to receive, that we are all inherently abundant, that we are all inevitably inevitably going to receive resources, we do not have to go above and beyond to make sure that they receive from us. When we do that, we are making it about us, and we are restricting the energy that they are meant to receive all around. Because if we are the ones who are pouring all of this accommodation energy into somebody, and they are then focused on the receipt from us, or they are at least distracted by the energy we are giving them, that is restricting the flow of energy and resources to them that they could be receiving from multiple other channels. And you are stifling the energy, and you are stifling the natural flow. When you trust their inherent abundance, you trust God's offering and design to them and for them, they will be cared for, and they are always going to be invited into more, even if they don't RSVP. That is not your responsibility. That is God's responsibility. So, what if people pleasing is entirely coming from lack? Because we think that there isn't enough of us to go around, we think there isn't enough to receive. It's not just there isn't enough out there to receive, but there isn't enough of us because we've been disjointed, disconnected, fractaled, separated apart into all these aspects of self that are clamoring for this initial inherent collaborative community, where we know that we are meant to be getting our resources met, but now we're in this world that doesn't do it that way. We're so focused on individuality, and so we're we're disjointed, we're scattered, and so we have this feeling of lack because it's this disconnection from the source that we are, the source we were created from, and how source created us. We're like there isn't there isn't enough of me. There's got to be something that's missing here because I am supposed to be receiving. Like inherently, we know I am supposed to be receiving. Other people are supposed to be receiving, and it's like we're looking around. Like, what's wrong with this picture? Why isn't this happening? This is inherently how we are supposed to be. So we try to fix the problem. We're in savior mode. We want to come in and teach everybody this is how we fix the problem by being over accommodating, and we come up against the people who are now accustomed to not receiving because they don't want to set themselves up for disappointment or failure as they perceive it, so now you have this group of people, which a lot of us call avoidant attachment, who aren't open to receiving, because they've taken on a role based on this shift in community. It's just like a family system. One person leaves the family system, and the entire family shifts, roles shift, things get adjusted. Same thing happens in community systems, in societal systems. So this people pleasing gets perpetuated because we have the people who are now over accommodating and trying to fix the problem, and then there's the people who are like, "But I'm not accustomed to receiving." And then the people pleasing accommodates even further in order to try to fix the problem. So you can see how this cycle has developed, but it is a systemic one, and so I want you to remove the shame and the narrative that you have to heal from people pleasing because this is a systemic issue. I remember when I first heard that people pleasing was manipulative. I had like read that somewhere, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, yes, that's entirely correct. And I had people pleased my entire life, obviously not intentionally, but I had been healing it at different layers. But when I realized that, it was like, "Oh no, hell no, absolutely not! It's a recipe for mistrust, relationship instability. Like just as bad as somebody who's being controlling or overtly manipulative, because you're in false relationship when you people please. You're inadvertently manipulating others into seeing you in the light that you desire, while you simultaneously show up as somebody that you're purely not, and that's why people pleasing erodes trust because it loses the respect that you desire to gain from other people. And and you're here to be all of you. You're not here to protect someone else or the relationship or a circumstance. You want the relationship to be honest and authentic and steadfast. So sharing all of you is for you and for your own reflection, not just for other people. And so, when we recognize this, we can hold shame or feel like, well, I got to fix this. I got to fix this in myself, and that's going to get you further from this ultimate idea that you want to come from the 5d template of being able to bring back this new Earth consciousness of collaborative community conscious exchange, where none of this stuff even becomes a conversation, we don't even think about it. So how do we do that? How do we get back to this place since this systemic pattern has become at this point. We recognize that it's in conscious, open, safe, and honest exchange with other people that we heal and return to the purity that we were meant for as a collective. This requires shared receipt with other people. Needs being met across the board, so you're not accommodating at the expense of yourself. You're not serving others at the expense of yourself, because you know that you're always going to receive from somewhere, from spirit, from others, you're going to open yourself up to receive more from what already is and what inevitably exists that you cannot yet see that is being offered to you. If you find that you are being over accommodating, that means that you aren't fully receiving the love that is being offered to you, and when you take responsibility for that, you are going to be in such an abundant state of overflow that you are embodying and modeling what other people are also being invited into to join you in this conscious exchange, and when you are in this space, you are overflowing so beautifully that you are giving automatically without even realizing it, and you're always refilling. You're always receiving. You and your community are in co-creation together all the time. It's never all on you, and that's the responsibility that we've taken to kind of clamor back into these communities that we know are inherently ours, that exist in the energetic template of the 5d we know they're there, and that's why it can feel so frustrating in 3d form, and like, oh, I gotta, I gotta make this happen, and we try to make things happen, right? But it's not all on you, and nothing forced is going to have staying power and bring you the ease and safety and belonging and fulfillment that we originally received in these communities of support. So call spirit in, trust the availability of resources that source is always creating for you, because that flow from source has never stopped. That flow of abundance and belonging, and all the lovely things that we got from those communities I described, those are all still flowing from source. They're just ping ponging around like in a pinball machine. All of these obstacles. "Quote unquote, that have been created by humans, and so we're seeing them differently. We're not necessarily seeing them as the abundant resources that Source is giving to us because they're coming through all these random avenues and they feel scattered. So if you take responsibility for receiving them and taking space to really come into relationship with spirit and directly ask for them to be shown to you to say literally direct them straight into my channel, pour them directly into me. I am here to receive. I will soften and deepen more into this. Plus, being really intentional about what we were talking about earlier with conscious relationship and receiving from other people, and recognizing when you're being over accommodating, and letting yourself come into the space of fulfillment and faith in yourself and the resources that other people are inevitably receiving, it's vibrational holding. It's taking responsibility for operating as if the 5D template is fully here on Earth at this time, because it's available in frequency. It's here in frequency and needs to be harnessed. Desires to be harnessed, embodied, reflected, illuminated. If you're going to be over accommodating or people pleasing about anything, do it with that. You can't take over responsibility for a frequency because if you do, all of the runoff of that frequency is simply going to move into collective consciousness and become more, be given to somebody else, overflow into community, allow you to offer more and more and more of what it is you desire to see on this plane. So if you need to keep that nervous system pattern for a period of time, use it to repeatedly return to steadfast faith, steadfast faith in yourself, spirits, design, and other people's inevitable access to abundance and resources. That is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is higher. Your responsibility is deeper, and your responsibility is so much more far-reaching than a person who's standing in front of you. So there were layers to this. Please let me know if you have questions. Drop them below. I'm happy to connect with you. Thank you so much for receiving this. I know this was a little bit of a longer one, but I will see you on our next episode of See Through the 5d on the Akashic Musings podcast. Have a wonderful day and bye for now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
