Laura 0:00
Welcome back to another episode of the Akashic Musings podcast. I'm very excited about this conversation with Thayne Martin today. He's going to introduce himself in a second, but we're going to talk about the mental health field. We're going to talk about advocating for the highest health and wellness for humanity, and I would love for you to introduce yourself, Thayne, so we can dive into this. Very, I know it's going to be an exuberant chat today.
Thayne 0:25
Okay. Yes. Thank you. My name is Thayne Martin, and I lived a very challenging, difficult, ugly life, and somehow managed to figure out how to heal myself because everybody else couldn't get the dang job done, that's fun, about
Laura 0:42
right, yeah,
Thayne 0:43
that's the reality,
Laura 0:45
yep, and you and I have similar backgrounds there with my experience with sepsis and my own chronic illness journey and anxiety that was resolved through more of an exploratory natural holistic health path, so what we started to talk about before we hit record was the concept of individualistic care, and that nobody has all of the answers, except for really you, right, like your own yourself,
Thayne 1:15
amen, 100% you know, you 100% yes, and, and knowing that you know, taking responsibility for your own care, and being smart enough to also kick the tires, that's something that you know, when I, when I came out of the ugly trauma that I had experienced, you know, I was abused as a child by a religious institution, and it ultimately led to a life of constantly running. Okay, I never understood a normal day because of what had happened to me as a child, and the stories that I had told myself as a child that I then carried my entire life. Right, I mean all of that, but ultimately getting caught in the system, and then ultimately being overmedicated. In my story, I, you know, I'm grateful for the therapist that I had. I would not be alive today was it not for her work and the EMDR work that she did with me. And then same thing, psychologist, amazing, psychiatrist, somewhat amazing, but ultimately being real, I ended up with seven pillboxes. Okay,
Laura 2:27
yeah,
Thayne 2:28
seven pillboxes by a medical establishment with good intentions, but the mistake that I made was I was not kicking the tire because I was not getting better, I was becoming a vegetable, that the system's answer was to medicate me into the corner, so that I had nothing. That's literally how I felt. I was like a vegetable, I was, I was a gelatinous blob with no personality, no drive, no nothing. And it wasn't until I kind of took control, for me it was a near death experience. I had a wake-up call in an accidental drowning because I had been given medication I should not have been given. I had a seizure while swimming, I could not swim or control my body, and I drowned. Okay, I drowned that wake-up call was the call that that changed everything for me, because when I came back, and when I use the word came back, I was literally horizontal dead under that water. Okay, and when I came back, and I realized I had been someplace, my consciousness had left my body, existed in some place else and returned. There's more to life than this right here, and I better start paying attention. And that's when I started kind of leaning into spiritual things and learning that there were other modalities that were outside of the traditional channels of healing that I had always ignored, because I had always been told by, you know, again clinicians and the professionals that, oh, it's woo woo, yeah. Well, call it what you want, but today I have no pill boxes, 00, none. And what healed me was neuroscience. I learned how to heal myself from within using neuroscience. Okay, because that's how human beings learn. Most traditional therapy, if you look at the, you look at therapy today, there has been no major changes in the way that we are treating mental health in human beings in 50 plus years, it's the same stuff, CBT, TBD. Oh, now we have EMDR, that's great, and there's some other things that are wonderful, but there hasn't been a lot of change there.
Laura 4:50
It's funny that you say that, because I have been, you know, for my CEUs, for my therapy license, I get, I keep that active, and I go every year to get, you know, to a conference. Is that I consider a very progressive conference for mental health, and so I go to this conference, and you know, some of it resonates, some of it doesn't, but it's just wild to me how every single year there is progress, and I'm so grateful to witness it within the therapy and mental health world, but I'll tell you, it is damn slow. It is so slow, like, and the shit that they're saying. I'm like, this is this is validating, but dude, these people in the spiritual world who are connecting to higher consciousness have been talking about this shit for decades.
Thayne 5:36
That's exactly right. Yes, and there's so much strength in that people have no idea. I will tell you right now. Okay, the number one healer of any and everything is unconditional love. Unconditional love is by far the most powerful healer of all when it is experienced.
Laura 6:00
Well, thank you. I was just going to say that I want you all to really like breathe that in unconditional love. We can say those words and move through a sentence and then move on to the next sentence. Yes, but I really want you to pause and feel that, because I will tell you that after I had sepsis and I wasn't getting better in the medical community, and I experienced Reiki for the first time, first time, and I remember leaving that session of Reiki and being like, never in my life have I ever felt this level of love deeply immersed in like every cell of my like I could feel it everywhere. I'm like, I have never felt this level of love in my life. That's why I say Reiki is the gateway drug to the spiritual world, because that's what you feel like. You just feel this. It's like a wave, it's like bathing in it, and
Thayne 6:53
it is.
Laura 6:54
You have not felt that, and you're listening. Please take some space to receive the unconditional love that you may have felt in an instant from someone else, from a, from a prayer with your higher power, from a time in nature, wherever it's come from, or even just coming from being with yourself, and be with it, and breathe into it, and let it expand, and let yourself feel it.
Thayne 7:20
Yes, so I woke up one morning, I took a picture of a sunrise, and it blew me away. And I posted on social media, and I said, What are you grateful for? I had all these people tell me about these amazing things in their life, and I realized that I was not grateful. I had done well in the business community, and I would say I understood gratitude as more politeness, and I would say it was more pleased than thank you, because as a child it was used to, my grandmother used it constantly as punishment. You need to be more grateful. So I learned to hate the word, right? So I started a social media experiment. I got a wild hair at my butt one day and decided I'm just gonna wake up every morning and celebrate the sunrise, because after that time I died in the pool. The sunrise was important to me, it really was. And so today is actually day 613 I haven't missed one sunrise in 613 days, and not only that, but I went from what is gratitude to living gratitude, and gratitude is neuroscience, and gratitude can heal your heart in ways that it's, it's mind blowing. I never thought that gratitude would heal my heart, or that I could live in gratitude, but I do. I live in gratitude, and when you live in gratitude, you're actually living in unconditional love. We have a phrase I use in my program, people I work with, called Dare to Be Second. Okay, and it's the motto that which we live by, because it takes courage to live in gratitude. It takes courage to know that I'm not always going to be first, and that every opportunity I can to let somebody else be first and maybe second, I'm going to take it. Why? Because it's better for my heart. It's better for my heart. Okay,
Laura 9:03
mmm
Thayne 9:04
saying we can't be first, we can be, but you can also choose to be second, which is the far greater and higher power to choose second. Okay, the word be the number two is because it takes two people to create gratitude. It's bidirectional, we put it out, and most importantly, it comes back to us. The number two, the word be is because gratitude is a state of being. When you live in gratitude, and it becomes the framework of which you live your life, it becomes a state of being. And I live in gratitude. I'm constantly grateful for everything that I have, right? Then the last word is second, S E C O N D. Okay, it is a reminder of the most incredible thing, which is that the most powerful position in the world is second place. And you say to yourself, well, how is that possible? Okay, so here's how that works. It's simply math, okay. Everything. When I died in the pool, the one thing that I learned is that everything in existence has a language of math in it. Okay, there's math in everything, and what you learn is that life is actually an equation, and if we live the equation correctly by balancing our emotional energy in the moment, we learn that that the most powerful position is second place. Okay, now, whether you're a believer or not in things that are upstairs, you get to define what that is. Okay, that's upstairs; everybody gets to define that. And I was an atheist before I drowned in that pool, but I'm not an atheist today. I understand what exists on that other side, and it's love. It is love, love, love, love, love. And I can't say that enough. Okay, so if you understand that that thing upstairs is in second place, that's true. The thing upstairs that I call God is in second place, and it puts me first. The most powerful position in the world is second place, as held by the entity that created us. So, now here we are on earth. How do we make this balance? We flip it. Okay, so here on earth I put the thing that I call God first, and I put me second, and when we do that in math, the operators, they cancel each other, they cancel in algebra, and what you're left with is the equal sign, which is balance, perfection, that's gratitude. Gratitude is the equal sign. It's, it's how we balance the world, and that's the purpose of my life, is to share that message with every human being that they matter and that they can live in gratitude and they can find unconditional love, and that right there is the greatest healer of all. Unconditional love. I learned in my social media experiment one day I met a stranger that did something for me that she did not have to do. It was an emergency situation for me, and had this person not performed when she did, it would have meant I would have gone catatonic, and I would have disassociated in the lobby of her restaurant, but because of her kindness, that didn't happen, and so, unlike the human that existed prior to that, I would have ignored all of that, but this time I made it different, and I walked up to a woman who I did not know at all, and I poured my heart into her, and I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for what she did for me that she had no idea, and in the process of opening up and being vulnerable with this complete stranger, I got something that I have now studied and spent a quarter of a million dollars studying. It's called a gratitude cocktail, and it is hands down the most healing thing I have ever discovered. And it comes in the body when we experience unconditional love with a stranger, because that is the most powerful love in existence.
Laura 13:01
And I love that you're bringing this co-regulative piece into it, right? Like this really isn't just about feeling the love inside of you, it's not just about the gratitude inside of you, but it's about being in exchange on this plane, and I think even when you're talking about a stranger, I think that a higher power is a stranger to a lot of people as well, and to a degree, a stranger to all of us, if you're not deeply immersing in this, because it's this is the infinite, you know, have we seen our highest power, like with our eyes tangibly in front of us, right? And so I think it's, it's reminding me of, like, one of the things that I'll tell my clients is, you know, if they're having trouble with self recognition, or they're having trouble with feeling that unconditional love from themselves. It's being able to, to celebrate yourself, and more importantly, celebrate with spirit, with your higher power. Because none of that happened, none of what just happened is belongs to you. None of it is yours. It's like that second piece you were talking about. It's like this happened in co creation with my higher power. This happened in co creation with other people on this plane that, like,
Thayne 14:07
glad you used that word, co creation, because that's what life is. Okay, we are co creators with the reality that we live in. Okay, if you don't believe in God, that's okay. I didn't either. Okay, I was a Christian. I got abused by Christians. I left that. Okay, I'm not interested. Okay, that didn't work for me. You guys, you guys hurt me in the name of your Savior. Okay, I'm not okay with that. So then I became an atheist, and I lived as an atheist, and I.. and I.. and I'm not gonna say that there were sometimes I was okay, there was, but ultimately I realized there's a lot more to that, and then, and then the thing upstairs had a different path for me. It did. I know I drowned in that pool that day, because I needed to drown in that pool that day, right? And it's
Laura 14:53
because us, as humans, are inherently just very stubborn beings, right? Because that's, and that's why you. And I, I think we're so drawn and activated to do what we do, is because both of us have had those experiences that have put us in a place where it's like, I have no idea if I'm going to see tomorrow, I have no idea if my children are going to have a mom, and it's so important to me and to you, I know, to share these kinds of stories, but energy and wisdom with other people as a preventive tool, as I guess what all of this is available to you without having to have adverse experiences, like not everybody has to freaking die in order to wake up,
Thayne 15:37
that's right, that's exactly right, exactly, and, and you know, the wake-up call for every human being, it's, you know, everybody reaches a point where they go, something's not working, you know what I mean, it's, it's like it's a point, like, and I always felt like I would hit the bottom, and then I'd find a pick and an ax, and I'd keep going, like that was me, and I was constantly digging into a deeper hole, and then, and for me, because I could never find it, and a big part of it was because I had been over medicated, I had been over medicated, I couldn't find the truth, because I was so, so spun out on psychiatric that were supposed to help me, they didn't, okay. And my, my, my caution is this: look, I understand that some people are going to need medication, and please understand that I'm not saying don't, okay, do use medication, talk to your doctor, but ultimately you don't want to be on them long term, you really don't, because long term they have very severe health problems that develop in people, and that's where you got to be careful. So, if you're one of those people that does need to be medicated, accept it. It is what it is, and move on. But I personally believe most people do not need psychiatric meds. What they need is how to overcome the dark things in their shadows that are stuck in the subconscious memory, and that is what is driving the behavior, but big pharma just wants you to get addicted to the pills, so they get your money, okay?
Laura 17:10
Right. And, and I will say that, like what I always tell people, if you cannot do the work, connect to the subconscious, connect to the shadow, receive the guidance that's coming forward when you're in therapy or doing your own work, or what have you, and you need to take something in order to soften and open yourself to do that work. Fine, but it's like the responsibility that you were talking about at the beginning thing. Yeah, but when it's like, okay, don't don't make the medication the replacement. replacement for your responsibility, because really, what that is, is it's an opportunity to open and soften you if needed to be able to get to know yourself, and then once you get those, you can take those training wheels off, once you're like, okay, now I do know what it feels like to listen to myself and to identify, do I still need to be on this medication. Do I want to make that decision? And when you start to feel that, and you start to cultivate it and expand it, become familiar with it within your nervous system and your life experience, then you get to continually reevaluate and revisit whether this dosage or this medication serves a purpose.
Thayne 18:21
Yes, exactly. And be open that the healing modalities, the professional community, in my opinion, has their heads in the sand a little bit, because again, they are still stuck in the same technology, the same treatments that they've had forever, but yet here we are, there's other people with other modalities that are just as effective in helping people heal, and, and that's what I've learned. Okay, my company is purelove.com We, we have founded and are studying neuroscience, and specifically the neuroscience of unconditional love and gratitude. That is the work that we are studying. Okay, because we have learned that there is a way that you can manipulate your own body to generate what we call a gratitude cocktail. And once you learn how to do that, you're going to go into the world and you're going to find your heart, and your heart is going to lead you to somebody in the world that's looking for a little bit of love and light, you're going to feel it, okay. And then you're going to use this very, very specific technique with this stranger, and you're going to fill their heart with love, and they're going to fill your heart with love, and it is going to heal you, okay? It heals you from within, because once you get unconditional love and light in your heart, like you can with a stranger, there is nothing more healing, and get this, more addictive. I'm a gratitude junkie, man. I am constantly in the world thanking people for showing up and taking care of me. Why I want that gratitude cocktail, I want that love coming back to.
Laura 20:00
Me and your body remembers
Thayne 20:02
it absolutely, absolutely.
Laura 20:03
Your body houses a memory of that, and you can call it anytime. And what I love about
Thayne 20:08
science,
Laura 20:09
exactly. And what I love about what you're saying is people, this shows you, you don't have any excuses to not feel the unconditional love that thing is talking about.
Thayne 20:22
Yes,
Laura 20:22
you're saying I don't have a support network, I don't feel like I have anybody that I can go to, I don't feel like I have anybody that I'm grateful for.
Thayne 20:30
Okay, I got an idea right now for everybody that's listening. This is an exercise, yeah, it comes from my deck. I have 101 experiences, this is one of them. Okay, this exercise is called Gratagram. Okay, think of it like Instagram, but grateful, so we call it Gratagram. And I do have that trademark, and that is my domain name. Okay, Gratagram. Okay, what a Gratagram is, is you take out your phone. I want you to think of three people right now that have touched you in your life. Three people we all know, three people that have touched us in our lives. Alright, I want you to take out your phone, I want you to turn it on, I want you to hit record, and then I want you to start pouring your heart into the person that you're sending the gratigagram to. No retakes, okay? You gotta fill it for two minutes, and then when you're done, you hit send. You have three grattagrams to get out today. This morning, think of three people that have touched you, and then start recording, and it goes like this. Okay. Hey, good morning, Laura. Laura, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being an amazing, kind person. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time from your day to interview me, a man that you've never met in another part of the world, and share the platform which you have lovingly created to share with your audience. So, I am incredibly grateful for the first time that I met you online, and I realized that you weren't like the traditional, you know, I called. There's a lot of people in the mental health field that are professionals, and I get that, but I get a lot of judgment from people because I'm not - I don't have that credential, but I have something that they do not have, and that's called a lived experience, and that lived experience gives me experience and knowledge that they'll never get from that education, they're not so the first time I met you, Laura, you treated me with kindness, you treated me with love, you treated me with respect. So I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the amazing woman that I see doing the incredible work in the world, putting love out there, helping people stand up, that's what this is about. So, Laura, thank you for being somebody in my life that has touched me. Boom, you hit seven. Okay, authentic, genuine appreciation. And then you wait, wait, because that person's going to get that unexpected, and then they're going to send you a video, and when you get that video and you start crying, I want you to feel the tears, because that is unconditional love right there.
Laura 23:10
And I want to share two things around this: one is just the sensation that I feel in my body, the choked up that I feel receiving that from you. It really doesn't even matter what words you used. It's the feeling that I, the energy I feel from you, it's the love and the intention and the sincerity that I feel from you. And that's what I want you guys to receive and to offer, and to not get caught up on the words that you're saying or the words that you're receiving. Let yourself feel it. And the other thing that I want to share about this is that you told me about the Gratagram when I first met you, and we had a phone call, and after that call I did it, and I did the Gratagram that day, and I reached out to three people, and I sent them message, I was like, you know what, this is beautiful, He touched me today, and I want to move with the energy that God has placed in my field today, and I'm going to go do this, and it was beautiful, it was energizing, it was anchoring, it was, it was grounding into myself. I felt strong, I felt, I felt connected, I felt like less alone, not that I was feeling alone, but I felt less like I felt more connected is the best word to say it, but it was, it was beautiful. So I just, yeah, and I just wanted to thank you for that, because not only did you influence me, but I think it's important for the listeners to realize, like, I don't care how simple - and I'm using quotes - how simple you feel gratitude is, or any of these exercises that you hear about or listen to online are approach everything with a beginner's mind, detach from your mind's judgment about what this, the power that you think this has, and let your heart soften and receive this conversation today.
Thayne 25:00
Yeah, yeah,
Laura 25:01
Because it will change you. It's like things that this is neuroscience. It will change you.
Thayne 25:07
Yeah, well, you're sitting there in tears when that person sends their back and tells you how freaking amazing you are, because you are, you know. But we don't hear it enough. We don't hear it enough. But when you get that gratogram coming back to you, it does change you, and it changes how you show up, right? And you're right, it's like the feeling that you get is what is healing you, and if you do enough of that kind of healing, where it's love centric and it's unconditional, it will ultimately heal all of those mental things, and the damage that's in your brain.
Laura 25:47
It’s the repetition that's the neuroscience of it. We need repetition, yes, so that the system doesn't just change temporarily. And I want to put one caveat out there, too. I love that you mentioned two minutes for the gratugram, because one of the things I want you listeners to hear is that when you're receiving, you're going to feel it in your body, or you're going to feel there's a threshold of your receipt, so that as you're receiving, it's kind of like, all right, is he still talking, right? Like, is he still talking? Is he still telling me how great I am? Like, is this over yet? There is going to be a part of you that wants to resist it.
Thayne 26:27
Yeah,
Laura 26:28
that gets kind of bored with it, or there's a part of your body that's just like, I don't know, man, he's full of shit. You start to get skeptical, and I just want you to be present with that. Let it be, that's just conditioning, that's your nervous system's old conditioning, and just be like, no, I am here for this whole too much. I am devoted to receiving this. I don't have to consciously understand it or believe it. I'm receiving the love, I'm receiving the love, and because it's so helpful to recognize where your mind and body desire to resist receiving.
Thayne 27:02
Yeah, absolutely. Even on that, I'm glad you said that. Right, because you're right. There, there will come a point where your own heart will be like, wait, I'm not worthy of this. Yeah, you're right. You're right to acknowledge it. Okay, because it will come up, because that's actually what shadow,
Laura 27:18
that's the shadow, exactly.
Thayne 27:19
That’s the shadow! wait a minute, I'm actually worthy of this unconditional love. I'm never good enough, like that's what we say to ourselves.
Laura 27:26
Yeah,
Thayne 27:26
right. So, you're right, it will come up in your shadow when that, when that grad or grad comes back to you, that shadow is going to come up, right? So, you're right, I'm glad you shared that. Crawl over that shadow and realize that that it was you that raised the shadow. Okay, where did it come from? Subconscious mind. How many other things are in my shadow? What else is holding me back?
Laura 27:52
And guess what? Light always illuminates the dark.
Thayne 27:54
It does.
Laura 27:55
It really, yes, it is helpful to be with that shadow, to be in presence with it, and to allow it to come forward into space with you, sometimes, and sometimes it's like, you know, what, like you said, just kind of jump over it, continue to receive, and realize that as you continue to receive, that light illuminates the darkness,
Thayne 28:16
it does, and you realize that your shadows, when you can learn to integrate your shadows, instead of you carrying them, they become part of you in a good way, and they're at your feet, right? Like I always used to say, I carried 17 bags, because that's literally how many bags it used to take me to go to Hawaii. Okay, so my family, we had 17 bags, five people, 17 bags, okay? So I carried 17 bags with me, and now I stand on top of them. I've integrated my bags. Okay, so what did I learn from my shitty life, and all those horrible things that happened to me? Lots of things, but I didn't just.. I didn't just put them behind me and learn from them. That's the key to integration. When you can learn from your shadows, they no longer control you.
Laura 29:04
Yep.
Thayne 29:05
Do you understand that they served a purpose? Because at the end of the day, all the shadows do is make you a better person. They do. When we embrace them and overcome them,
Laura 29:15
they make you richer.
Thayne 29:17
They do. I mean, I would not look. I was abused by over 50 people. Okay, I quit counting in therapy, because what's the point of counting? I was abused by a pedophile ring. It screwed me up. It made me dark. It made me bitter. It made me show up as an asshole. That's not who I am today at all. I'm a loving, kind, caring man, and the only thing that matters to me is love. That's it. Unconditional. unconditional love, and how we get there is with gratitude, because that's the spark and fuel for love. Gratitude became my religion, and I live that way today. That's why my motto is Dare to be second, and anybody that works with me learns that and lives that way,
Laura 29:57
100% That's why I always say, may. There be none of me and all of you pointing up to the sky, right? Like, because it's just.. and I fully own it.
Thayne 30:08
You're so powerful. You are so.. you have so much light in your heart. It's such a pleasure working with you.
Laura 30:15
Thank you so much. And thank you for being a perfect model and example of somebody who has experienced complex trauma, repeated trauma, childhood trauma, and not become a victim to it for the rest of your life. To decide, I am, I'm the master of my reality, I'm the master of my lived experience by deferring to my highest master, and I'm, I'm, I'm humble, I'm willing to receive what this has brought me in my life, and to allow it to fuel me and fortify me, and that is the new wave, and the new narrative for mental health, is you know, trauma does not stop you from becoming all that you are. It enriches who you are, and come into space with people like Thane, with people like me, and and pour your heart out, whatever is on your heart, and listen to what Thane said about the gratugram. Pour your heart out to other people, you can connect and receive love without telling people your trauma story. You don't have to tell everybody that's on your heart, you know what? To begin healing, just start to share. You have a heart, because guess what? You wouldn't feel wounded if you didn't care.
Thayne 31:34
That's right. That's right.
Laura 31:36
So you actually give a shit about feeling like a human, otherwise you wouldn't even go to a fucking psychiatrist or go to a therapist, you wouldn't even go because you wouldn't give a shit, so thank you so much for modeling this and for showing us what's possible and for creating something that is neuroscience based, that is being research backed, that is formulaic, that is open, that is flexible, that is sensitive, that is individualized. I encourage all of you to check out Thane at It's Pure Love com. We will also have his link in the show notes, so make sure to check him out. Both of us are open to any questions that you have about this episode, anything that's kind of come alive in you, quote unquote, triggered you during this conversation, take the nuggets that resonated and move, start to implement them, take responsibility for your healing, and just implement one thing in action from this experience today.
Thayne 32:40
Yep, do a do three gradograms, and look at the difference in your day, in your heart. And then call me, and let's do some more.
Laura 32:49
Exactly. No, I’m telling you, it's true. Like, I literally, I got off the phone with you, and I was just like, I, I want to receive his inspiration, and I want to forward it, and I want to feel it, and I want to expand from it, and this is what we want when we come into conversation with other human beings, right? What can I receive? Yes, so full. So, thank you for joining us. Thank you to everyone who listened and who desires to reach out and chat. We are both here, and we will talk to you very, very soon. Have a beautiful, beautiful day. Bye for now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
