Welcome to the Akashic musings podcast. My name is Laura Mazzotta and I will be your guide during the sacred experience. I'm an Akashic healer and teacher, and I've also been a therapist for almost 20 years. This podcast is your go to opportunity for all things healing, inspiration and Empowerment. I will be sharing potent wisdom from divine intelligence in the space of the Akashic Records. For more understanding of what the Akashic Records are, I encourage you to listen to episode one, or head over to my website at www.theakashictherapist.com. I'm so grateful to have you here, receiving the powerful energetic shifts that radiate through these messages. Just by listening in you're doing your part to raise the vibration of the planet, and fully realize our natural state of wellness and vitality. Without further ado, here's today's episode
welcome back to another episode of the Akashic musings Podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about disintegration anxiety, this is something that I'm going to define for you allow you to understand how you can identify what it is and how you can start moving through it. So disintegration anxiety can be really uncomfortable for people. And a lot of times they don't even realize that that's what's going on. They think it's just regular anxiety. They think they're having a panic attack. A lot of people can feel this impending doom like, I feel like I'm not going to survive. I feel like I'm going crazy. And I'm losing my mind. And it can feel very lonely to because it can feel like that version of yourself. You thought you knew this anxiety comes out of nowhere sometimes and you're like, what, what is happening, like, I thought it was fine. I thought it was happy. I thought it was settled. I don't understand. And it can kind of take you off guard and feel a little shocking to you and to your system. So that's why it's important to be educated about this so that you can understand the difference between just typical anxiety and disintegration anxiety.
So, disintegration anxiety is typically much more intense. And there isn't one jarring event that's clear. And it's not like for if you're somebody who's had chronic anxiety or anxiety for a period of time,
it's definitely going to be above and beyond what you typically experience is going to almost feel like a sharp spike in your anxiety. Some people can feel like this is a panic attack. And panic attacks can accompany this for sure.
But you really don't feel like yourself. And I often see that shame accompanies disintegration anxiety, because you feel like wait, this isn't who I am. Like, I thought I worked on this. I thought it worked through it. I didn't think this was an issue. This isn't who I am anymore. I've been able to center myself. I feel grounded for the most part of my life, I feel happy. Where is this coming from and what is going on? Okay. And so when it becomes this intense, and you feel like you're completely losing yourself,
and you feel like maybe I'm gonna die or maybe I'm completely out of control. And it lasts for a while and it's not lifting no matter what you do.
And it's a very physiological anxiety too. It's not just oh, my mind is racing. But your physical body really starts to feel a hit. You're either gonna have shortness of breath, or dizziness or nausea, weakness, fatigue, you can also feel shaky, you can feel cold and feel sweaty.
All of those things can start happening, you can even get physical pain.
And that means that this disintegration, anxiety is present for you.
And you're moving through a process is actually really, really freeing and liberating and wonderful for your development.
But you don't recognize that in the moment.
So really, what's happening with disintegration anxiety, is that your old self is literally disintegrating.
The old version of you
is no longer aligned to where you're going. And sometimes we don't even know where we're going. We don't even realize that we need to become a new version of ourselves or that we desire that because it's subconscious, or it just exists in our energy field, our soul is pulling us there, even though our human is kicking and screaming, and not really wanting to go there and not feeling ready.
And what can happen is this disintegration anxiety is like this rub this tension that exists within you, between where you're going and your growth. And wait, wait, wait, this is what's comfortable. This is what I'm used to. These are the belief systems, this is the perspective that I've had in the world, this is how I engage with people. This is how I manage my own emotions.
And doing things differently, very quickly,
can feel very jarring.
So what happens is, you start to look around at all of the reasons why you feel the way you feel. And you come up with these answers from your ego. And sometimes from your heart space about this has been stressing me out, like I've had all of this stress going on in my life. And it's just too much like my nervous system is burnt out, and I'm done with it. That can be the case. But the disintegration anxiety comes in. Because you are meant to leave that old version of you behind. And this all of these events came into play at the same time
to create this tension within you, so that you are motivated to make a change, and do things differently and take a different route and start a new chapter.
You can choose to take any anxiety that you experience and turn it into transformation. It doesn't just have to be disintegration anxiety, but it typically comes at turning points in your life, times of transition.
And times of crisis. And this could be in relationships, this could be in your work environment, this could be in your living situation. Either way, what it results in our mental health symptoms that come forward for you, like I was describing a little bit earlier. And the idea of disintegration anxiety is that
we are meant to experience these things as a catalyst for raising our awareness about what we need to change. And really deciding do I really want this anymore? Like is this something that I desire is this part of my future,
it becomes so intense, so that we really get serious and intentional about what we choose to leave behind, and who we want to become.
what happens a lot is that people can just dismiss this as Oh, well, that's just anxiety, especially if you've had anxiety continuously. It's like, well, that's just anxiety, or Wow, it's really bad right now. So I'm going to take, you know more Xanax or Ativan,
I'm going to, you know, go have a glass of wine, go take walks more often exercise the shit out of my body. I'm not saying that those are all bad things to do. But I also don't want you to miss the message.
And if it's something that's persistent, and that's a much greater intensity, and there's not one jarring event that's made it very, very clear that this has spiked it, and you have this feeling of kind of impending doom,
then it's time for you to do a couple different things to identify, how can I move through this transformation with greater ease? How can I support my nervous system and support myself when I'm moving through this because that's really what's happening is that your nervous system is adjusting your nervous system knows that something's coming. We are wired that way. Our nervous systems know that if it sees a snake across the road, it's already going to start preparing to respond to that, even if the snake isn't moving toward us. And that's just a natural part of our evolution. That's where we came from. And so it's our responsibility to soothe our nervous systems and remind ourselves when we are safe. And our nervous systems, if we're completely shifting identities from what we understood previously, is going to freak out. It's going to be like, wait, I like or my comfort zone. Like what are you doing here? Check. Like, I like my comfort zone. Right? And so, the number one thing that I encourage you to do
look at the anxiety as if it's a relationship
outside of yourself. So you're in a turn towards the anxiety. And you're basically going to say like you're having a tantrum, like I get it. You're having a tantrum about something you're safe here. You have safe
faced with me to tantrum it out, so just go nuts. Let it all out, tell me what you're thinking, tell me how you're feeling.
At which point,
you then get more specific as you get answers from your nervous system. So it might say like this happened to me the other night, I was having this random anxiety from the lunar eclipse. It's not really random, because there was very intense energy. And I was feeling this energy. And it was very persistent and very intense.
And so I turned toward it. And I just said, you know, you're safe here. What's going on? Tantrum it out, you have space to do whatever you need to do. And it said, I'm really pissed, like, I'm angry. So it's like, alright, what is it that you're most deeply angry about? And you just keep asking that question. Until you get to a point where either there's no more answers coming back at you, or you feel like you've gotten to the core issue.
And then at that point, you're going to feel a real lightning once you have awareness of what it's really upset about. Because it's very often not about what you think it is, our egos try to make sense of why we have this anxiety, but especially if it's disintegration anxiety, it's not going to be right on the top of your mind, it's going to be something hidden.
Which is why another thing you can do if you don't get answers right, in the moment, especially, is just say, what is it that I'm not currently seeing? Right, set the intention
that you're going to receive information from your nervous system, from the universe, from your heart space, whatever.
That tells you what's existing subconsciously underneath the surface,
that you're not consciously seeing
and trust and know that you're going to receive an answer. It might not be right there. In that moment, it might be the next morning, it might be the next day, it might be a week later. But the key here is trust. And knowing this answer is coming to me, I'm going to have clarity on this moods, do not last for weeks, months, years, unless we choose to remain in them. And it can take practice to come out of them. But something like disintegration anxiety, is really a sign that we have a major major upgrade to our beings that's coming.
And when we have something that's that intense, and you're experiencing something with real intensity, you can know pretty easily that there is a huge shift coming for you. And it's always going to be in a positive direction, it's always going to be in the direction of fulfilling your soul's purpose.
But we're stubborn humans, and we don't always get it, we don't always understand when we get these messages from the universe about the next steps we're meant to take and the path that we're supposed to go on.
And that's why our bodies and our nervous systems give us cues so that we pay attention. Okay? So consider this as an option, the next time that you're feeling really intense anxiety, because what it really is, is a rebirth. It's really an opportunity for you to say,
okay, good, I get to evaluate what's working for me and what's not working for me, I get to evaluate, you know, there might be actually a lot of things in my life that are really good. But are they phenomenal? And maybe your soul is taking you to phenomenal, I guarantee you it is if you're in this safe space.
But be gentle with yourself, be patient be compassionate, because these are times when our physical bodies are basically catching up to our soul that is running a million miles a minute and saying, dude, I'm ready. Like, let's go, I'm ready for the next level. I'm ready to do X, Y, and Z and your humans like oh, wait, wait, right? It's that adjustment. It's that nervous system regulation that we're looking for. But the disintegration anxiety is a little different than just nervous system regulation. Because there's this existential piece to it. There's this existential piece that that's why it came from existential psychology, where we are transforming who we are as human beings to align with our spiritual selves. That's a frickin tall order. That is a tall order. And that is that's not little baby steps. My friend this this is like quantum leap kind of material. And quantum leaps. A lot of people don't do it. In fact, I've consciously chosen not to do it a lot, a lot of times in my life because it's frickin scary. It's scary to just leap and be like, that was one of the things I saw at the beginning of my journey and meme that said leap and the net will appear and I was like, Oh God, right.
the beautiful part about disintegration anxieties, it's telling you when you're ready, so that even if you keep kicking the can down the road and saying, Not Not yet, not not yet, but your soul is like, you're ready, we're going. It's actually like a loving parent guiding you there. And it may feel uncomfortable in the moment. But the quicker that you recognize that it's disintegration anxiety, you get to shift that anxiety into excitement. Oh my gosh, what's next? This means that I'm upgrading this means that I'm going to that next level like this is frickin awesome. But that's always going to come with accompanying grief as well. Because we're shedding old versions of ourselves. We're shedding old patterns, and old habits and old perspectives. And that can feel uncomfortable, and it can feel lonely. And I say ashamed, like I said earlier, because it's kind of like, Wait, everybody in my life knows me this way. How are they going to respond when I move this way? Right, but you got to trust the universe. You got to trust your soul, that even if some relationships fall away, you're going to receive ones that are even more aligned that are going to help you soar even further than you could imagine. So if disintegration is anxiety is something you have questions about, or it's something that you feel you're experiencing, you'd like some support, reach out to me here, reach out to me on Instagram at emerge healing & wellness, where you can send me an email at emerge healing & [email protected] Thank you so much for listening. I hope you have a wonderful week, and I'll see you next week on the next episode of the Akashic musings podcast.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of the Akashic musings Podcast. I'm so grateful you're taking the time to integrate healing at the deepest level. If you loved this episode, connect with me on Instagram at emerge healing & wellness or contact me through my website at www.theakashictherapist.com. I'll see you next week on the next episode of the Akashic musings podcast. Bye for now and have a wonderful week.